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Lube After Childbirth and During Menopause: What the Evidence Says About Dryness and Choosing a Lubricant

By The BedsideBench Team · Research-based guide · Published 2026-10-26 · Updated 2026-10-26

Vaginal dryness is one of the most common reasons couples start using lubricant. It tends to arrive at predictable points in a marriage: after a baby, while breastfeeding, and around menopause. This guide explains why, what health bodies recommend, and how to choose a lube using the numbers that matter.

This is a research-based guide using NHS, ACOG, The Menopause Society, US Office on Women's Health and WHO sources, plus manufacturer product pages, checked on 26 October 2026. We haven't laboratory-tested any lubricant, and this isn't medical advice. See how we research.

Why dryness happens at these stages

The NHS lists these among the causes of vaginal dryness:¹

• Menopause
• Pregnancy or breastfeeding
• Certain medicines, such as hormonal contraceptives or antidepressants
• Hysterectomy, and cancer treatments
• Not being aroused during sex, and perfumed soaps, washes or douches

The NHS explains that these things "can cause a change in your hormone levels", which "can affect how much vaginal discharge or fluid you have".¹ ACOG adds that in perimenopause and menopause, "decreasing levels of the female hormone estrogen may cause vaginal dryness".⁴

After childbirth, the NHS says: "Hormonal changes after childbirth may mean you may need to use lubricant to help make sex more comfortable." It also says "there are no rules about when to start having sex again after you have given birth".² Contraception: the NHS notes you can get pregnant 3 weeks after giving birth, including while breastfeeding and before periods return.² And lube changes nothing about condom rules. See lube for condoms.

Around menopause, The Menopause Society describes genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM). For less severe symptoms it lists over-the-counter lubricants "used as needed for sexual activity" and moisturisers "used regularly (several times per week)".⁵

Lubricant or moisturiser?

Many couples use both. The US Office on Women's Health lists "vaginal moisturizers every few days and/or water-based personal lubricants during sex".⁶

What to avoid in a lube

From The Menopause Society: lubricants "should not contain flavors (sugar), warming properties, or solvents and preservatives such as propylene glycol and parabens that may cause irritation in some women". It adds that oil-based lubricants "may damage condoms and may increase the risk of vaginal infections".⁵

From the NHS: don't use "creams, lotions or moisturisers that are not for your vagina", and avoid perfumed soaps and douches.¹

From the WHO advisory on lubricants: osmolality should ideally not exceed 380 mOsm/kg, with an interim upper limit of 1,200. A pH around 4.5 is recommended for vaginal use.⁷ Glycols (glycerol, propylene glycol) are the main driver of high osmolality.⁷ For more detail, see our lube guide.

Four lubes compared by published data

How to read this:

• For sensitivity, ACOG says water-soluble lubricants are a good choice. It also says silicone lubricants "last longer and tend to be more slippery".⁴
• Silicone lube and silicone toys: some makers warn against combining them, so check the toy's manual. See best silicone lubes.
• Published numbers are rare. Aloe Glide and Almost Naked are two of the few that publish both pH and osmolality. Almost Naked's upper bound (400) is slightly above the WHO's 380 ideal.⁹⁷

Check Aloe Glide · Check Almost Naked · Check YES WB · Check Überlube

More options: best water-based lubes.

When lube isn't enough

See a GP or clinician if:¹

• dryness lasts a few weeks and self-help isn't working
• it's affecting daily life
• you have unusual discharge
• you have bleeding after sex, between periods, or after menopause

For hormone-related dryness, a doctor may discuss oestrogen treatments (HRT, creams, pessaries, gels or rings). The NHS notes these "are not recommended for everybody".¹³ Other prescription options include vaginal DHEA and ospemifene.⁶ If sex is painful, see our guide to when sex hurts.

For the partner

• Don't take dryness personally. The NHS lists hormones, medicines and not being aroused as causes. It isn't a verdict on desire.¹
• Slow down. The NHS suggests trying "different types of foreplay to find what makes you feel more aroused".¹
• Keep lube within reach and make it routine, not an apology.
• After a baby, the NHS suggests that if either of you has worries, talk together, and speak to a health visitor or GP if you need more help.²

Frequently asked questions

Is coconut oil or another kitchen oil OK? The Menopause Society warns that oil-based lubricants "may damage condoms and may increase the risk of vaginal infections".⁵ The NHS also says not to use oil-based lube with condoms.³ If you don't use condoms, discuss it with your clinician.

How soon after the birth can we use lube? The NHS says there are no rules about when to start having sex again. It suggests lubricant may help at first, and a GP visit if pain continues.² Your postnatal check is a good time to ask.

Will dryness go away after breastfeeding? The NHS lists breastfeeding as a cause because of hormone changes.¹ We found no source giving a set timeline, so ask your GP or midwife if it persists.

Can we use lube with a toy? Usually, yes. Check the toy's manual, because some silicone toys shouldn't be used with silicone lube. See first couples toy.

Sources